


It's You I Like

by wetwellie



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Children's TV, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 15:02:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10467762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wetwellie/pseuds/wetwellie
Summary: Instead of going to Samwell, Jack creates and stars in a widely successful public television program for children.AKA, the AU where Jack is Mister Rogers





	

**Author's Note:**

> This got a decent amount of notes on Tumblr, so...I'm uploading it here so people can find it easier.

Jack learns that he is great with kids after coaching them for a little over two years. Moreover, kids are good with Jack. There is no pressure to be anything other than who he is.

It all starts with a local news program doing a fluff piece on Jack Zimmermann’s coaching ability. But then it turned into something completely different when Jack skated onto camera and started to introduce every single one of his kids and what was special about them. He was…really enchanting actually. He didn’t ever really talk down to them. Jack just treated them as a tiny friend. 

They ARE his tiny friends, but that’s not the point. 

The footage they got of “snack time” was really the best. Imagine a good 16 kids piled around this massive man teaching them the best way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 

 

It should have been obvious that a local channel would contact him. It still surprises Jack. They want him to host a show? Why? Everyone always teased him about how impersonable he was during interviews. Is it because he’s Jack Zimmermann’s son? Or Alicia’s? 

Jack asks all of these questions to his mother and she just laughs. “You made a PB&J interesting to 16 kids just by being you”

He figures it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot. 

 

The show becomes an overnight success with children all across Quebec. Heck, it’s even broadcast in some parts of the Northeast US, and bordering provinces in Canada. He gets quite the following in New Brunswick, but it’s still hard to capture the attention of children who don’t speak French and can’t read subtitles. 

Jack, at this point, is 10000000% into this show. So he offers to do a second recording in English for those kids. That is when his popularity skyrockets from regional stardom to…daytime TV personality stardom. Anyone with a kid under the age of 8 knows his face and his show and adore him. 

On the show they do various things. They reenact history with puppets, and he shows them how things are made. There’s still a lot of snow and ice rink trips. There’s a segment that is literally just a Zamboni cleaning up an ice rink while calming music plays in the background. 

He also addresses a lot of emotions and feelings that other shows don’t. He talks about how sometimes he gets really upset when he feels like nothing is going right. Yes. He does sing about these feelings. And he talks about anxiety a lot. But he always makes sure to let the watcher at home know three things by the end of every episode: He likes them, he’s proud of them, and life is a wonderful thing to be lived. 

After just five years, he’s won a daytime Emmy. He loves his job and the children love him. 

Three years after that, the producers finally decide that it’s time for the “cooking episode”. They were able to avoid it for 7 years, but it had to come sometime. Kids wanna know how to cook, parents want Jack to make kids stop being so damn picky, and it’s a hassle for Jack to even think about.

“You know I can’t cook, Johnson”

“We know. That’s why we’re asking a Baker to come on the show. He’ll move the plot in the direction that readers want”

“You mean the audience watching the show?”

“Right” he said, prolonging the sound of the ‘I’ much longer than necessary. 

Eric Bittle comes up to Quebec a month later. When Bitty’s hockey scholarship didn’t stretch as far as he needed in terms of rent and books and whatnot, he opened up a makeshift dessert shop outside of his dorm in his first year. It became a hit to overworked students everywhere. When he got a concussion bad enough to keep him from playing hockey, he’d earned so much from the pies that he didn’t have to worry too much about ends meet. The Hockey team still lets him live in the Haus in exchange for his sweet treats. 

Johnson swears that he is perfect for Jack. Or, for Jack’s show. For baking. Yes. 

“So! Jack. What do you know how to make?” Bitty asks. 

“I can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich”

“From scratch?”

“From a jar”

“Oh dear”

The episode that they film is making a pie from scratch. Eric introduces himself as Chef Bittle, something that the small kids near Samwell call him. And he asks Jack what kind of pie he likes. 

“I don’t know, I’ve never really had pie”

Bitty just blinks. He smiles and said “Well I’m glad that this will be your first pie.” He finishes the sentence by saying “But it might ruin any other pie that you eat in the future” But that was taken out of the episode. 

Then, Bitty lugs out three things that Jack doesn’t recognize. 

“What are these?” he asks.

“This,” Bitty starts by pointing to a large tub of white goop “is lard.”

“Can I touch it?”

“Sure” Bitty offers Jack the jar, and the camera zooms in on Jack’s hand as it dips tentatively into it. 

“It’s goopy” 

“I’m sure all of these will be very goopy”

Jack moves to the next jar. It’s called shortening. Bitty explains to the camera and to Jack that a lot of people use this to make their pie crusts because it’s easy to mix into the dough. 

“What do you like to use?” Jack asks. Bitty grins and points to the last jar. He opens it and it’s just full of cubed butter. “I know what this is” he says. 

“In my opinion, butter is the best way to go.”

Bitty then explains his way through measuring the flour and putting it in a bowl. He lets Jack try, but Jack spills a little bit of the flour over the bowl. 

“Seven years after hockey and your hand eye coordination is as flawless as ever, Jack” Bitty chirps. This also is cut from the episode. 

Bitty then folds in the butter and brings out a pastry cutter. He explains what this is and lets Jack try to cut the butter into the flour. While he does this, Bitty explains how to add the water to the crust and, after that is finished, putting the dough in a giant fridge. 

While it is chilling, Bitty and Jack are able to have their first real conversation. It, of course, starts with Jack and Bitty’s mutual love of hockey. 

“Do you still play?” Bitty asks.

“With people older than 12? Not in a long time” Jack says. “You?”

“I’m not cleared to play with the NCAA, but I still play whenever there’s shinnies” says Bitty before pausing and saying “If you’re free, you should come down to Samwell sometime. I’m sure the Hockey team would love to go a couple games with you.”

“I might just take you up on that”

By the end of the day, Bitty had taught Jack and his audience how to make the perfect apple pie with a maple syrup egg wash. 

“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Bitty asked, after filming was done. 

“Not at all. I actually had fun. You seemed totally in your own element”

Bitty shrugged. “It’s what I do” 

Jack’s face then broke out into the most devilish grin. “I can’t wait for you to do the same thing in French two days from now.”

Bitty gulps audibly. 

The following morning, Jack is at Bitty’s hotel room at 4:30am with a whole pile of flash cards splayed across the large queen size bed. They spend a good hour improving Bitty’s abysmal French before Jack notices that he’s live tweeting the whole event. 

“Saying only good things, right Bittle?”

“I’m just tweeting that for a beloved kids TV personality, you can be kind of a hardass”

“Just because I don’t play hockey professionally doesn’t mean I can’t keep my hockey butt”

Bitty doesn’t even give Jack the satisfaction of sputtering, but he is blushing quite violently when he chirped back: “Really? You can never tell that you have anything underneath those sweaters”

“The studio we filmed in was always cold, hence the sweaters” Jack explains “It became a brand thing after a while” 

“Yes. Because the children would be scarred if they had to see you in a regular T-shirt.”

“They wouldn’t cry, but I’ve been told by my producer that it would give the show a ‘sex appeal that really shouldn’t be on children's daytime television’ “

“I’m sorry to say but you’ll have some sort of sex appeal in your show no matter what”

Jack leans into Bitty’s space and looks him straight in the eyes “Now Bittle, why do you think that is?” 

Bitty, this time, does sputter. Just a little. They continue with the flashcards after that. 

The following day, Bitty is halfway through explaining the different types of apples he can use for the pie when he just sort of shuts down. He feels like no one’s going to understand him, and there’s no way that this audience is going to like him as much as the one two days before would. 

So he just pauses and says “J-je ne savais pas du tout quoi dire” with a southern drawl and not even sure if that’s the right thing to say at this time. He googled the meaning just before filming started. Just in case. 

Jack puts a hand on his shoulder and says something like “it’s okay” in French. He then looks at the camera and explains that Bitty is from a place where they don’t speak French normally, and that sometimes speaking a second language is hard. 

“But you get to make lots of new friends if you speak more than one language. Chef Bittle wants to make lots of friends here, right?”

Bitty nods. 

“That’s wonderful to hear. You’ve already made a friend in me. Do you know what friends do?”

Bitty, not quite understanding what’s going on, says “what do friends do?” back to Jack. 

Jack squeezes Bitty’s shoulder gently and looks directly at him. “We have each other’s backs” he says in English. He then turns back to the camera and continues in French. 

When Jack takes his hand off Bitty’s shoulder to continue peeling the apples, Bitty feels a strange longing for Jack to be back in his space. He shrugged it off as something that surely everyone must feel when they are in the presence of Jack Zimmermann. 

They wrap up the episode and Bitty thanked Jack and everyone profusely for this wonderful opportunity. He was ready to leave when Jack pulls him aside for a moment. 

“You were right” Jack says

“About what?”

“Your pie. I’ll never be able to eat anyone else’s after this”

“Well if you want any pie, you know where to find me.” 

“I’ll have to come down some time” 

“Definitely!” 

Bitty then says how he’s got to get going, there’s a plane to catch at 3am and and clothes and souvenirs still needing to get packed. And that was that. He was boarding the plane at an ungodly hour when he got a text from a number he didn’t know.

_Hey. It’s Jack. My producer gave me your number and told me to tell you to eat more protein. Don’t ask._

_You already miss me so much that you’re texting me at this hour? haha_

Bitty doesn’t get a response until he decides to turn airplane mode off sometime around noon the following day. 

_You’re an easy person to miss._

Well. Damn. He’s going to have to talk about this on his vlog. 

 

Bitty wasn’t even home when Jack found himself standing in front of a home that should very well have been condemned years ago. The person that comes to answer the door is a tall, blonde man with glasses. This man’s eyes widened at the sight of him and then slammed the door in his face. He could hear him scream someone’s name. 

“Ransom! I need you to open the door and make sure I’m not seeing things.”

“Seriously man?” another voice responds. 

“Just do it!” 

He hears a groan and then a pause while the other person, Ransom, gets to the door. The man opens it and freezes up. 

“Uh, hi.” Jack says. 

“We have a drinking game for your show” Ransom blurts out in response. And then he covers his mouth and turns to look at the man next to him. 

“Holy fuck so that is Jack Zimmermann?”

“You can’t say fuck in front of him!”

“He played hockey. It's not like he hasn't heard the word fuck before”

Jack coughs loudly “Uh. Is Eric here?”

They pause for a moment and look at each other. “Oh you mean Bitty?”

“Yes”

“No. He’s got class until 4:45 today.”

“Oh” Jack says with a bit of disappointment. It was only noon. “I can come back later”

“No you don't! You can wait here with us.”

“Really?”

“Totally.”

Jack is then welcomed into the Haus and ushered to an awful green couch with an odd odor and even stranger stains. Nevertheless he sits down and the two of his “hosts” introduce them formally. They are D-men on Samwell’s hockey team, Ransom and Holster. 

“We’re also the captains this year”

That’s all they need to say for Jack’s hockey-centric mind to take control of this conversation. He asks them about how their season is going, what’s the hardest and most rewarding part of captaining. As well as the way the NHL season. 

“I assume that you’re a Habs fan?” Ransom asks

“Because of my dad?”

“Yeah, and the fact that you were practically radiating when P.K decided to be on the show with you”

“I feel like anyone would be that way with him, though” Holster interjects “He’s amazing”

“What a fucking beaut” Ransom agrees

Even Jack hums in agreement. 

The conversations stays on Hockey until around 2pm, when Dex comes home from his class and walks into the living room. He lets out a little yelp of surprise when he sees Jack sitting down with Ransom and Holster. 

“Can I call my family on Skype? My siblings grew up with you” Dex says

“I always love meeting fans”

20 minutes later, Dex comes down with his laptop in his hands and on the screen is about five kids between the ages of 7 and 15. 

“Oh my gosh! Is that him?” The oldest looking one says.

“Mister Jack!!!”

“You’re not wearing a sweater!”

 

Jack laughs when he hears that, and proceeds to have a lovely conversation with all of Dex’s family for a solid 10 minutes. When it’s time for them to go, the littlest one asks for Jack to sing the song he always sings at the end of each episode. Jack willingly does and the little ones all sing together. Even the 15 year old, who believes she’s to old for Jack, is humming along. 

Off to the side, Holster is trying to hold in a scream. “Rans holy shiiii _take mushrooms_ he’s actually singing”

“I know man, it’s crazy. Like he’s supposed to be tiny and on our TV screen. Not in our living room on our gross ass couch singing out feelings.”

“It’s fucking 'swasome”

“Chyeah”

When the call ends, Ransom and Holster are texting literally everyone on the team to _come over here right now!!!!!!_

The first person to walk through the door after that text is Tango. He recognizes him immediately, and he smiles. Tango says he loves watching the show. Even if it is for little kids, it is pretty calming. 

 

“Ransom made a fun drinking game with it too, which is nice” he adds

The questions kept coming after that. Why does he wear sweaters? Does he like French or English episodes better? 

“Why are you even here, though?” 

By this time, the Haus is full with the Frogs, Lardo, Whiskey and Tango, and Ransom and Holster. They all look at each other. 

“He said he wanted to talk to Bitty” 

“Bitty? Why?” 

Jack was about to answer when they hear the front door open and Bitty shout “Holster, this mass text you sent out better be serious or I will have words.”

“It is serious! One of our neighbors came to stop by”

“If one of those LAX-holes were hiding out in the attic again I’ll–” Bitty shouts while making his way into the living room, only to be shut up by the sight of a tall, handsome face looking like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“Jack!” Bitty says in a voice that’s about three octaves too high and two decibels too loud. 

“Uh, hi Bittle”

“What are you doing here?”

“You said I could come down when I wasn’t busy to play hockey”

“Mister Jack plays hockey??” Tango asks. He’s quietly shushed by the Frogs. 

All Bitty says is “Oh”. He wants to say more, like chirp him about how he could have texted beforehand. Or…something. Nothing comes out of his mouth. 

The silence is painful. Jack doesn’t once take his eyes off of Bittle.

“So!” Ransom finally says, breaking the silence, “We have everyone here. Why don’t we go have a shinny?” 

Bitty thinks he says “That’s a great idea! It will be so much fun”, but he’s not sure. Maybe he just nods and makes a garbled noise. He’s not really sure. But the response is what’s needed. 

In that moment, the silence ends and everyone is whooping and hollering and grabbing their gear. He’s pretty sure he hears Holster ask Jack to smell his bag. It’s all a lot to take in. The image of Jack Zimmermann inside the Haus should be foreign, and it is foreign at first. But on the other hand, it feels like this is where he effortlessly fits in. 

Bitty watches Jack sniff Holster’s bag, quickly recoil in disgust, and say “Yup. Hockey bags still smell like shit. Nothing has changed”

And everyone yelled when they just heard Jack Zimmermann say ‘Shit’. 

“Guys we have to get Shitty here. If only for the name” Dex says

“I texted him an hour ago, he’s on his way and skipping a lecture for this.”

Not many people give it much thought when Bitty says he’s headed to the kitchen to bake up a few things for the game. They told him not to be too long and left a few minutes later. 

He’s finally alone and as he pours the flour into a bowl, Bittle whispers to himself “Oh my God”. 

Jack actually came.

Did he come for him, though? Or just to play hockey? That was the thing that was on his mind. If Jack was simply here for hockey, Bitty would be fine with that. He’d have a grand old time and thank him at the end of it. Just like with filming. 

However, what if Jack came for him? Bitty can’t let himself think like that. It would never work. Jack has never presented himself as anything other than straight, from what Bitty and the rest of the media has seen. And despite having Bitty’s number, Jack never texted him. That must show he’s not overly interested in Bittle, right? It’s just Bitty wishing for something. What is he wishing for, anyways? 

“Oh no’ Bitty thought. He’s gone and done it. He’s gone and possibly started to fall for the most unobtainable guy he will ever meet. A guy who is in nearly every household in North America. A guy who lives 300 miles away. A guy who is just too darn nice and too darn attractive for his own good. 

“I think you’re over mixing the dough” a voice says behind him. 

Bitty whips around to see the one person he doesn’t want to see (and also the person he wants to see more than anyone else). “Jack!” he says again in that surprised voice . “You didn’t go with the Boys?” 

“I wanted to see if you needed any help.”

“Well Jack, that’s very nice of you. But you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to. I’m sure that the Boys are a lot better company”

“They are great company, but I just spent four hours with them.”

“Four hours?” Bitty exclaims. 

“Yeah,” Jack says “So can I help?”

Bitty pauses for only a moment, tries and fails to crush all warm and fuzzy thoughts, and nods. “Of course you can.” He points to the pile of apples and asks him to peel and chop those up. 

In five minutes, Bitty has three pie crusts ready to bake. 

“It took hours to chill a pie crust on the show how did you–” Jack starts to say, and then Bitty flicks him with some flour. 

“I don’t give away all of my secrets. Mr. Zimmermann”

15 minutes later, Jack and Bitty leave the Haus with three freshly baked apple pies. 

“This is impossible. You are amazing, Bittle”

“But you already knew that I was great at baking. Wait til you see me on the ice.”

“Bittle, I look forward to it”

 

The thoughts that were going through Jack’s head when he saw Bittle do a jump like that in hockey skates are unable to be transcribed as anything other than internal screaming and maybe Ode to Joy.

And then he sees Bittle moving faster than any one he’s ever seen. 

“You don’t let him play anymore?” Jack shouts incredulously at Ransom and Holster. 

“Not our decision. It was the coach’s” Ransom explains

“What a damn shame” 

At that time, Bitty does a flawless spin-o-rama into and scores on Chowder, who first swears in frustration, and then cheers for Bitty. 

All Jack says is “Nice”

“Not so bad yourself” Bitty responds.

“Yeah that hockey ass isn’t just for show!” Ransom shouts, and then Bitty flushes and trips over himself. 

All in all, it was one of the best games of hockey that Jack had played in a long time. It was one of the only games of hockey Jack had played in a long time, but that wasn’t the point. The point is that there was no pressure to be anyone other than him. This is how hockey should feel all the time.

Jack wishes he could say that he realized that he really liked Bitty a lot right then and there. But that’s not what happens. Oblivious as ever, and surrounded with a bunch of new people around his age that like him for being himself, Jack does not have any revelations. 

Well-–romantic revelations, that is. When he says “Hey Shitty” to a moustached man with a tweed jacket and a flow that’s just barely starting to grow out, and the man literally jumps leaps into his arms like he’s the starlet of “Dirty Dancing”, Jack knows he’s met a friend for life. He doesn’t know how or why they click, but they do. 

Jack leaves late that night with a new group chat, a baskets worth of pie, and a handful of new friends, promising to return as soon as he gets the free time. And if the ever-oblivious Jack, waiting for his flight on the airport just happens to text a certain Eric Bittle, he sees nothing super romantic in his message. 

_Thanks for letting me come over and steal your friends. I hope that next time we can have more quality time one on one_ Jack texts. Big groups tend to drain him pretty fast, he reasons. 

Bitty, on the other hand, is freaking out. He’s already blogging about a friend who came, and the feelings which definitely did not follow when the text comes. After about fifteen minutes of freaking out, he sends back a neutral _That sounds great, Jack! You haven’t lived until you’ve been to Annie’s._

When Bitty wakes up in the morning, he has a text that says _I called my mom and asked her about Annie’s. She said it’s really good._

_You called your mamma at god knows when to ask her about a coffee shop?_

_She said it’s a really good coffee shop_

Their texts never really stopped after that. One casual text turned into entire hours of just texting back and forth. Even the most banal things sparked the interest of one another. Jack shared some of the pictures he takes on his days off, and Bitty shared his famous pregame playlists. 

 

 

Jack would also come to find himself visiting Samwell nearly once a month. In the cold months, they would play hockey on the pond.. Then, when all the ice melted into spring, he still came over to just hang out. Although, as the months passed on, he ended up spending nearly all of his time with Bitty. They would just go on walks, or get brunch. Or Jack would spend hours in the kitchen while Bitty chattered on about the things that he had already texted him about. 

There were also the times when they were on walks that kids recognized Jack from TV. He would always stop and say hi to the kids, and introduce them to Bitty, who would melt instantly. 

 

In the spring, Jack stands in front of Bitty’s door and shoves a week’s worth of sweaters into Bitty’s arms because “I know you’ve lived here for 3 years but Samwell is colder than Georgia, and I know for sure these sweaters are warm”

“Jack, it’s April” was all that Bitty could say. 

“April is still cold at night” 

Bitty laughs, and slips on one of the sweaters.The sleeves are a bit too long, so he slides them up to his elbows and puts his hands on his hips. “Well I think this sweater will do nicely” says Bitty. “When it’s cold”  
Bitty then pauses and retreats back into his room. “Now you just wait a moment! I got something for you too!”

He comes back with his old hockey sweatshirt and hands it to Jack. 

With no hesitation, Jack slips the sweatshirt over his head and pulls it on. It’s a bit tight around his shoulders, but fits more or less everywhere else. Its shade is a few tints lighter than the red that everyone else has. That washing machine really needed to be fixed. 

Jack stuffs both his hands in the front pouch and absolutely beamed at Bitty in utter comfort and bliss.

“I love it,” he said. 

Bitty laughs “Just wear it now, why don’t you? Don’t even put it through the wash.”

“I trust you to do laundry enough”

“Well you are too trusting, Mr Zimmermann.”

 

There’s an overpowering feeling that hangs over Jack for the rest of that night. Nothing is different when they sit next to each other in the quiet of Bitty’s room. Bitty balances his laptop projecting the playoffs, and a bowl of kettle corn on his stomach. He slumps down on the post of his bed and pats the space next to him. 

Jack climbs onto the bed, and sits himself right next to Bitty. “So why aren’t we watching this downstairs with the boys again?”

Bitty mumbles something about fines. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing. We all support different teams and it can get pretty tense. Ransom was fixin to fight someone for insulting Mashkov last night. And you know how Chowder is with the Sharks”

Jack hums and continues watching the game. Bitty doesn’t talk at all. 

“You must be really invested in this game” Jack notes

“What?” Bitty says before processing what he heard. “Oh, no. This game isn’t that important on the grand scale of things for me.”

“Oh? And what is important on the grand scale of things?” 

Bitty keeps his eyes fixated on the images on the laptop. He doesn’t respond. Time stretches out to a point where Jack thinks he won’t answer, but then he does. “I don’t know. Is anything really important?”

If Jack had been perfectly honest, he had been expecting a response about his preferred hockey team (previously Blackhawks, but now he’s leaning towards the Schooners or Falconers), or the business that Bitty wants to start (baking school for kids). He hadn’t expected for it to get that serious. 

Tentatively, Jack places his hand on Bitty’s forearm. “Do you want to talk?” 

“I don’t know? Maybe?”

“It’s up to you”

Bitty sighs “I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t think things are important, per se. It’s that maybe the things I am making important shouldn’t really be? I mean, what I’m trying to say is that I’m starting to see my future in a way that scares me. There are all these variables except for one constant. Except I have no right to assume that, uh, thing will be a constant in my life in the future.” 

Jack just stares at Bitty. “I didn’t really follow what you were saying, to be honest.”

“Just forget it. It’s silly” he says. 

And, for that time, Jack lets it lie. They watch the game in silence, but Jack’s hand never leaves Bitty’s arm. 

In too short a time, Bitty is standing outside sending Jack off. He has a morning talk show appearance in NYC the following morning, so he couldn’t stay the night. 

“Will you be watching tomorrow?” Jack asks

“If you need me to, just try to be less stiff than your last late-night appearance”

Jack smiles “I’ll try. But talking to adults is a lot harder than interacting with kids on the show.”

“How so?”

“You don’t ever have to fake laugh with kids. Talk shows are 90% fake laughing.”

Bitty snorts “Well, just try your best. If Mister Jack can have a fun talk with grown-ups, then so can your tiny audience.”

“And this is why I need you to be watching tomorrow: to keep me thinking of the big picture”

“What would you do without me?”

“Hopefully I’ll never have to know” he says. And immediately feels the weight of the statement. “Uh, I gotta go now.” 

Jack ruffles Bitty’s hair, gives him a quick “byeIwillcallyoulater” and drives off. 

—  
Bitty wasn’t able to get much sleep the night before, so he doesn’t notice that he goes downstairs to the kitchen in the sweater that Jack had given him. Fortunately, only Chowder was downstairs at this early. He had gotten back from his morning run, when they bump into each other. 

He gives Bitty a knowing look “Ohhhh. So that’s why you didn’t join us downstairs last night”

Bitty turns beet red and immediately turns on his heels and towards the stairs to change. 

“Chowder, I don’t like what you are insinuating,” He says. 

“I’m sure you would like what I’m insinuating an awful lot”

“One more word out of your mouth and you’re not getting any muffin with you’re breakfast”

“But today is brunch day!” Chowder calls up the stairs. 

 

Damn. He’d forgotten that they were all going to watch Jack on the talk show today. Half the Haus had taken bets, and the others were planning on making a mimosa drinking game out of it. Which means he can’t even retreat to the comfort of his kitchen to cook something until at least lunch. 

Despite telling himself this, Bitty found himself serving a bunch of tiny chilled strawberry rhubarb tarts to everyone gathered around their tiny TV, creating the rules for the games. 

“Shitty says that you have to down your whole glass if Jack brings up how his show isn’t just him, and that it’s a team effort” Lardo reads from her phone

“Bullshit, he can’t make the rules if he’s not even here” Dex protests.

“I’m gonna turn on the videochat in a minute. He’ll be here”

“In robot form”

Lardo rolls her eyes “Whatever,” she says “I don’t think we should take big drinks if any of the hosts seem thirsty. We don’t wanna show up to brunch completely wasted”

“That’s true. But if he is directly asked any awkward questions about sex and/or romance, you gotta take a drink every time that he says “uh” or “um” Chowder adds. 

“That seems fair. He seems to be getting better at deflecting the questions about MILFs a lot better since we’ve talked to him” says Ransom, grabbing a tart from the coffee table while Holster is swats him.

“Shhh it’s starting!” 

What seemed like a world away, Jack was sitting at a rounded table with three women sitting across from him. Jack took a deep breath and counted his heartbeat until it steadied a little bit. The camera panned to the women as they introduced him and his show, and started an interview. 

“I must say you are a lot more attractive than any other children’s personality. That must be some reason for your popularity. Parent’s don’t want to change the channel either!” 

Jack reminds himself that this is a time he should be lightly chuckling before he speaks, “While many do believe that is the case, I always believe that the popularity with the Neighborhood is the content we give out as well as the people behind the camera producing it. I may be the face everyone sees, but I couldn’t make a show without everyone’s help”

Back in Massachusetts, a Haus full of hockey players groan and down their mimosas. 

The interview then turns into the show going into it’s 8th season, and how the kids who first were watching are growing up into teenagers. 

“My daughters were 4 and 8 when they started watching your show almost 8 years ago. Now, they’re showing it to the kids that they babysit! Isn’t that weird to think about?”

“Uh, yeah. It’s amazing that the show has been able to impact as many as it does. The kids who I coached before the show, the ones that made me think I should get into children’s programming, they’re all headed to college pretty soon. It’s amazing how quickly time passes”

“Yes. It truly is.” One of the other women says “Children seem to take your word for gospel, it seems. I remember when my son was a toddler, he would run around saying ‘Mr Jack says this’ and ‘Today Mr Jack talked about that’. But now, he’s 13, so his problems and fears have gotten to become much larger than being afraid of the dark”

“That does seem to be the case with aging”, Jack says. “Which is why it’s important to give children the tools to taking care of themselves mentally down the road.” 

“While we certainly agree with that, do you think you could do us a favor?”

They had mentioned this favor. Jack tried to act somewhat surprised when he said “Of course, I’d be happy to help with whatever you need.”

“Great! Because yesterday, we sent out a message asking everyone who wanted advice from you in this segment to tweet their questions to #askMrJack on twitter. And we were flooded with responses. Do you think you could answer a couple of these?” 

“It would be my pleasure” 

They all smiled as they read out the first one. It was something about having to deal with the pressures of school and expectations. Jack was able to answer it as eloquently as possible, and looked into the camera like he was talking to a person on one of his shows. 

The next question was about a joke about fashion. “Now that my parents don’t dress me, I have a hard time figuring out what looks good. Any help?”  
This made Jack let out a real, genuine huff of laughter. 

“If you ask my friends, I also have a hard time figuring out what looks good. I can let you learn from my mistakes: It’s never acceptable to wear three different colors of neon on your body at once.”

He answered more questions until it got to one that stumped him. “How do you know when it’s a good time to ask someone out?”

“Preferably when you realize that you like someone, you should ask them out. You should do it in person. If they say no, it’s okay to feel sad. But know that your value isn’t based off of this one person’s opinion of you romantically. And that there are several people in this world who would love to get to know you”

“And how do you know if you like someone?” One of the women ask.

“Well. I don’t know. I figure I would just know if I do.”

“How do you know? What’s are the signs that you look for?”

“I…don’t?”

At the Haus, Lardo made a comment about how the thirst is going into double time. Without any prompting from the game, Bitty takes a swig of his mimosa. 

“Ok, so for the kids watching out there. How would you explain the feeling of wanting to date someone?”

“Is this a tweet from a fan?” Jack asks.

“I’m sure several people are tweeting it right now”

“Uh. Okay” Jack starts “But I should say that I’m pretty useless at this kind of stuff. So, I only speak from my own perspective”

“Please do! I’d love to hear what it’s like for Mr Jack to be attracted to someone”

Jack said nothing and counted to 10. He thought about the girls he’d gone on dates with in Montreal. He thought of Kent. The even thought of the guy that Jack told his mom that he was to. None of them sparked anything really. They might have. But not anymore. All he can think about is last night. 

“I guess that if I like someone, I want to talk to them all the time. Or, hear what they have to say. Everything that they say is interesting.” He starts. The women nod. “Uh, and then I think about them a lot. At first it’s just if I see things I think that they’d like, but then it seems like everything reminds me of them. It can be overwhelming if you think about it too much; then you just think of how happy he makes you. And it’s okay.”

Oh. 

_Oh_

“Ohhhhh” The three women say in unison “are you thinking of someone specific?”

“Yes” he says without hesitation. “I guess I know now.”

Without any further ado, Jack is out of his chair personally shaking the hands of the women across from him and thanking them for having him on the show. “I’m sorry to be rude, but I really must be going. Thank you so much for having me.”  
He then, rushes out of the studio and into his rental car. 

250 miles away, the Haus stares at the screen in dumbfounded silence. 

“Okay boys. Down the rest of your drink, we’re officially allowed to get rat assed.” Lardo starts “Except for you Bitty. You may need to drink some water or milk or something.”

“I think I just need to sit down” he says.

“Bitty. You are sitting down”

“He needs some milk. I’ll get it for him!” Chowder says.

“Did that just happen?” Tango asks.

“It looks like it did.” Bitty replies dazedly.

Three hours later, Jack pulls up to the Haus and sees Bitty sitting alone on the roof, nursing what looks like a chocolate milk. 

“Bitty!” he shouts “Can I come up?” 

He waits to see Bitty nod before sprinting through the front door, up the stairs, and through the nearest open window to the roof. 

“Long time no see!” Bitty says, with a bright, somewhat tense smile. 

“Bitty. I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?”

“I get what you were talking about last night now,” says Jack. “About how when I think about the future, there’s always a constant. I hadn’t realized until,3 hours ago, that there was a constant in my future plans too.”

Bitty looks at him, but can’t find any words. 

“And that’s you. No matter what I see myself doing, I can’t imagine any world where you aren’t a part of it. Because I really, really like you Bitty.”

Jack had planned to say more things, but then he found himself being grabbed by the collar of his sweater and being kissed by Bitty.

It lasted for a good long while before they had to be broken apart by a long string of buzzes from Jack’s phone. Grumbling, he took his phone out to put it on silent, but then started laughing. 

“What is it?”

“A text from Johnson. He says not to worry about writing the episode on handling crushes, because apparently I’m a ‘frickin ding dong who should have figured out that I liked you by now,” he says. 

 

 

 

Forty-seven years after the show airs, Jack receives the best reward he could ever hope for. It’s not his Emmys, or his prizes for being a humanitarian, or even the plaque that says “Honorary Captain of the Montreal Canadiens Jack Zimmermann”. It’s Jack sitting next to his husband of 35 years, listening to him chatter about whatever he pleases: the weather, a new jam recipe, the sales of his cookbook, what a little kid said to him the other day, what his own child (who is no longer very little) said to him on the phone, and how Bitty is blessed to have not gone bald like all the men on his mom’s side of the family. 

Eric Bittle is the best thing Jack could have ever asked for. Jack leans over and gives him a quick peck on the cheek. 

Bitty flushes and take’s Jack’s hand in his, “Now Mr. Zimmermann, what was that for?”

“I’m just happy that we actually grew old together”


End file.
